Februaruy 12,1991...The Day that changed me forever.....

Today is my daughters 19th birthday,I remember the day she was born as if it just happened...And in a flash it's 19 years later.Its amazing how quickly time passes and we are so consumed with our jobs, our addictions.our insecurities that we don't appreciate the moment. I am guilty of not appreciating and loving the people in my life at this moment. I try to and I am much better then I was 10 years ago but still time does get away from me every once in a while.
But days like today remind me of why we are here,19 years ago to this date I was in labor for over 30 hours..My girlfriend at the time ,my first true love,Anna Delgado was with me breathing and sweating and comforting me the way any nurturing and loving partner would. She did everything she could think of ,even sang to me to keep me calm and to help me through the process.
Finally after 29 hours the doctor told me he was going to give me something to help me sleep for a bit and they sent me up to my room to rest. Once we got into the room i felt so relaxed ,I was so tired. I closed my eyes just for a minute and then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain that felt like someone was cutting through me in my stomach.
"I have to go to the bathroom,right now!" Anna helped me to the bathroom and helped me get on the toilet,as I sat there pushing, Anna looked at me and started panicking..."Get off the toilet!" she screamed at me."What,no," I said.She pulled me off the toilet and screamed for a nurse ,thank god because Jesse's head was crowning and she was finally ready to come out and join the world.Nurses rushed in and brought me back up stairs to the delivery room. Once I got there it took 15 minutes for me to push out the most amazing person in my life.The angel that saved me from self distcruction so many times ,over and over again.
She is the most important person in my life,the one thing that is constant and always on my mind and in my heart. I am so proud of her because she has become the young woman I always new she would be.My heart is filled with gratitude and love whenever I think of the gift of life and opportunity I was given to be a part of her growth...
Being a parent isn't always easy,we aren't given a instruction book when we decide to be parents. We just hope and prey we don't fuck our kids up and we have learned enough from our parents and our mistakes to give them the tools they need to become productive adults.
I love my daughter and I am so proud to say Happy Birthday Baby girl and thank you for giving me the best possible gift I could ever get ..Your Love...
You are amazing and I know you are meant to do great things in the future...I hope I am here to be a part of that...