THE BEST FIRST DATE I EVER HAD..WHO SAID BREAKING DOWN COULDN'T BE FUN....

THE BEST FIRST DATE I EVER HAD…WHO SAID BREAKING DOWN COULDN’T BE FUN….

I felt like a love sick teenager going on her first date with their first love.. How about that, I mean I have been on more then my share of dates with some pretty amazing women but none of them ever made me feel the way this women makes me feel. She gives me butterflies the minute she walks in my door and I hear her voice.
It’s kind of insane because we have been seeing each other for a little over three months which isn’t a long time at all but I feel like I have known her forever. Like she was put on this planet at this time just for me and I for her. We met over the summer and as I have said in other stories I have written I felt totally connected to her and I did try to fight it. I just couldn’t and at this point I couldn’t live without her, now that’s a pretty intense line, ”I couldn’t live without her,” mmmnn, I mean I could but it would suck.
Especially since I know in the deepest part of my soul that we belong together, have you ever felt that strongly about someone that just the thought of not speaking or seeing them makes your sick and your heart palpitate. My heart just ache’s whenever I even feel like something isn’t right with her. I could be doing nothing in retrospect to her, working, bullshitting with friends, just watching television ,just being me and I can feel when something isn’t right. It’s kind of bizarre..
Well anyway we have been seeing each other for a few months and we have tried a few times to plan a night on the town. It just doesn’t ever work out, mainly because we can’t make it out of the bedroom. The sex is amazing ,she’s amazing, I have never met a woman I literally couldn’t keep my hands off of and everything she does turns me on.
She is definitely beautiful, without a doubt but it’s much more then that. I love the sound of her voice ,her laugh, her smile, her sense of humor is so honest and real, we laugh about nothing and its awesome. When she touches me or kisses me she makes me so hot I just want to tear her clothes of and kiss every inch of her body. I could kiss her for hours she drives me out of my mind and absolutely out of my pants…
With that said every time we have planned a night out we have ended up naked, wet and sweaty for hours. Marathon sex is out of this world and we could definitely break some kind of a record if we tried. Ok, Ok I have to focus and get to my story.
So I was determined to get out in public and do something we haven’t done together. Go some where we have never been and introduce her to some of my friends. My friends already think she is an imaginary girl I made up just for kicks.
So she showed up at my house at around 4pm ,I made us lunch or you could say an early dinner. Which is kind of a treat since we never get to eat dinner together. We have had breakfast together a few times but dinner just doesn’t seem to work into our time together.
She usually had to leave by 4pm so she could get home and take car of her other responsibility’s so this was kind of a treat, I guess. So I made us dinner, about 10 minutes before she got to my house I had taken a shower and gotten dressed. I was determined to get us out of the house and some where in public together.
I had gotten an invite from my ex girlfriend Sasha who had also become my sounding board when it came to my new found love. Sasha asked if she could meet her so she could more or less size her up but also because she new I really loved her and wanted to see if she really loved me. Or if I was just setting myself up to get hurt again. I think she also thought she could give Brandy some women to women advice about embracing her power as a women.
Sasha was a total hippy, feminist at heart which I thought was great, even though like most of us she had a hard time taking her own advice. Once my amore got to my house as soon as I heard he voice I was already wet. Total insanity, she walked in, as usual looking so fucking sexy that I just had to stop and catch my breath. She had on tight black jeans and let me tell you I am not exaggerating even a little bit when I say she has the most perfect ass. Legs from hip to floor that made me just want to stick my face in between them and get lost there. She was a dancer for a long time and still had the legs and the body to prove it. Shoulder length blond hair and the most hypnotic beautiful big blue eyes which changed to hazel and almond depending on her mood.
You could definitely ,well I could any way, tell when she was really happy when I looked into her eyes. It was as if I see the dancer in her soul bursting out through her eyes. The passion that she brings out in me is nothing like I have ever experienced before. So to sum up what I thought about her physically is she’s HOT…
She brought me flowers which was the sweetest thing because she always brought me flowers and I love her for that. I think I have gotten more bouquets of flowers from her then I have my entire adult life from all the women I have ever been with. Now that’s pretty crazy. She also brought a couple of six packs of beer.
I grabbed the beer and set it down so that I could kiss her and say hello. I love kissing her ,she’s a really good kisser. We started to make out and I just wanted to rip her clothes off but I tried to restrain from that. She took her coat of and we sat down and had some dinner.
I threw together some chicken recipe that I made up as I went ,chicken and mushrooms in a white wine sauce over pasta. I must say it was pretty good. We ate and had a couple of beers and I had picked up a shirt for her that I forget to give her over Christmas so I gave that to her. Which she tried on and it looked great but the best part was how she thanked me for dinner and the shirt
She got up from her chair and kind of straddled herself on my lap facing me. I was still chewing a bite form dinner so she started kissing my neck and my ears slowly and whispered that she loved me in this low voice, that made me so excited I just wanted to throw her on the kitchen table and rip her jeans off and put my fingers inside her as I put my mouth on her clit and sucked on it until she came in my mouth.
As she worked her way from my neck to my mouth and we started making out, her hands some how ended up between my legs. Rubbing me ever so lightly that the heat and the moisture of my wet pussy was radiating from my pants. I ran my fingers under her shirt around her back and kept pulling her closer but unless we were totally naked and bare skin was touching it wasn’t close enough.
While we were kissing her hand moved from my crotch to my belt and I could feel my belt coming undone. I had already undone hers and was trying to pull it off so I could get in her pants. As we were fiddling with each others belts, she stopped kissing me and looked at me and said,” Do you want to go into the bedroom?” now I am so hot like I said I just want to take her right there but my daughter isn’t home and that’s the last thing we need is to be caught fucking in the kitchen by the 18 year old.
“YES,PLEASE! I said ,as she got off my lap and we headed to the bedroom. Once we got inside the room ,clothes always started to fly off and things just got better from there. Better for me anyway, I couldn’t get her pants off quick enough so I could feel her. Let me see if I can physically describe what I feel when I get my fingers into a position to separate her lips just enough so that her hot juices are dripping on to my fingers. That moment when I can feel her pleasure ,her desire, her want, it’s pure ecstasy! My heart , my mind, my soul , my pussy are all connected and feeling the exact same thing that she is feeling….
I can feel her desire to reach a certain level of untouched pleasure…This incredible lingering want to reach a certain height of pleasure, a place that only she can get to ,a place that only she can relate to. That place of pure freedom ,where she can let everything go, every worry, every fear, every desire, every insanity… As I put my fingers inside her, at that moment, when I can feel the warmth of her juices dripping down the inside of my hand and over my knuckles. Her moans of desire and pleasure make me so wet I can feel myself reaching my own pleasure point where I am about to cum..
In my head even though I could cum right there ,right then and she doesn’t even have to touch me because she already has me right where I belong connected to her soul. My heart is pounding and my mouth is watering because ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS TASTING HER! As I slide my fingers in and out of her slowly and feel her insides contracting as if they are ready to explode, I work my way down to her mound and kiss all around it.
Her inner thigh which just brings her to a different place of pleasure because of the anticipation of me finally putting my mouth where it belongs...
I can’t wait any more, I need to taste her, I NEED to feel the smooth softness of her clit in my mouth, between my teeth where I feel like I have the ability to give her what she deserves. Where I take her where I know she should always be in an emotional state of freedom. Where the only time I know there is nothing else but the moment between us because she has to be there for her pleasure point to be reached.
As I listen to her scream with pleasure and tell me how good it feels. I become so connected to her that I can feel every tingle every movement of her body makes me more excited. I can feel her body let everything go as she is Cumming, I know this is where she belongs, that this is her moment of reality with herself and I am a part of it. As she cums in my mouth and her juices drip down my arm and onto my chin. I pull my fingers out slowly so I can feel every ounce of relief at the same time I have already cum numerous times myself.
Which is pretty funny because she is still so knew to the female factor, the act of making love to a woman or being with a woman. That she can’t tell or maybe she can whether or not I have cum. The minute she touches me or kisses me or puts her fingers inside of me, she takes me to a place that is so incredible I love the way she makes me feel in every aspect. Once we were finished ,we got dressed and went back out to the living room to have a cigarette.
Ok ,we definitely need to get it together so we can get out of this apartment. Since she usually drives ,we decided I would drive, I debated with myself whether or not to take her car or mine. Number one hers is much nicer and number two, it doesn’t matter we took mine and I love my car but the universe just seems to want me to stand still. You will understand what I mean once I finish my story.
So we headed to Sasha’s to have a drink. I am sure Brandy was a little nervous about meeting her but I new everything would be fine. We got there I introduced them we had a beer, they smoked some pot, had a polite conversation about Brandy’s marriage and what was going on with that.
Let me see, now , actually the conversation was a little more detailed then I probably needed to hear that night. But at the same time definitely information that makes me think way to much or not enough. Sasha asked what was happening with the husband and Brandy explained that she had told him she didn’t want to be married and wanted him to move out yet they were going to get counseling to dissolve the marriage without any ugliness. Which I think can be pretty smart or is it false hope.
During there conversation Brandy explained about a piece of property that her husband and a friend had bought and that they were going to build a house, I’m assuming he was out surveying the land that day and night. I never asked how she was able to get away with spending the night at my house without a fight. But as in all things, the truth shows itself in time.
I didn’t ask because I didn’t want to hear the lie, the lie she had to tell about where she was and who she was with. The lie that absolutely denied everything she said to me when we were together. The lie that gave her to me for a moment but ripped everything that was pure about us apart…The lie that created the illusion at home with her husband that things may still work out in his favor…that even though she has said she wants out ,she still acts like she doesn’t know for sure what she wants.
As I drank my beer and listened to Sasha drill Brandy in a sweet and respectful manner…I heard the question come out of Sasha’s mouth ,the question I have never asked “ So when is he moving out?“ “Well he was online looking for an apartment the other night after we discussed everything but now that they have the land and they are going to build this house ,I think it would be counter productive for him to move out and pay for something else while he is building this house.“
I heard her but I didn’t ,if that makes any sense, I didn’t want to hear her, I didn’t want to think about him ,she is with him every day. She sleeps with him, wakes up with him, eats with him, takes care of him, gives him everything he needs and that’s her choice. Now I sound like a jealous asshole, don’t I, I really try not to waste my energy on situations that are out of my hands. Her choices are not mine and out of my control but sometimes I can’t help it.
Once she said she wanted him to stay until the house was finished I set up a file to go back to at a later time. I could feel the insecurity and insanity brewing, why would she want him to stay? What does that mean? Is she going to still continue to sleep with him and how long should I let myself be the Lie…Should I set up a time line for myself so that I don’t get caught up In her illusion.
What am I doing, am I setting myself up to get destroyed when she finally faces the truth ,that she can’t leave him. If she truly felt the way she tells me would I be the distraction or the center. I don’t feel like the center when we are not together. I feel like the center when we are together but not when we are apart.
The funny thing is I love my time to myself, I have no problem being alone and I can create my own joys within my own space and time.. If she needed to do things I knew she wanted to do for herself so she could become more centered with herself. I wouldn’t question anything that had to do with us. I want her to be happy an healthy and I want her to feel loved and safe but is she doing what she needs to get there. Am I going to become another chore or strain on her list of things to take care of.
Am I being selfish and impatient because I want her to take a step every day that’s bringing her closer to her real purpose and her real joy. Or am I the distraction that’s keeping her in the same place so she isn’t doing what needs to be done to get out of the predicament she is in…Fuck I hate thinking and writing ,it creates clarity I don’t want to see.
Fuck it….we will get back to this…while we were at Sasha’s my friend Karen kept calling because she wanted us to meet her on route 1 at some bar that had pool tables. Which is exactly what I wanted to do with Brandy ,play some pool introduce her to some people and go dancing, simple enough right. So I told Sasha we needed to go. “Right now, “ she asks. In my head I didn’t want to hear any more, I didn’t want to think about the reality, I just wanted to be with Brandy even if it was only for the night or a moment.
So we left, once we got In the car I asked her if she was ok. “Yes, I’m fine”. “Good, lets get some gas and go meet Karen.“ I have become a master at filing things that bother me. And that’s exactly what I did. I filed it. As much as I wanted the night to be about us, I wanted it to be more about her.. Getting her to just be in the moment and enjoy it. So we got gas and headed for the pool tables. Once we got on Route 1 we ended up all the way at the end and had to get off to get on the other side.
So we were going around the rotary and getting ready to get on the exit we needed when everything in the car lit up on the dash board and it stopped running. “Shit, the car just died”, I said as I pulled off to the side of the road just before the exit. I tried to restart the car but it wasn’t happening.
I stayed as calm as I possibly could I started to laugh to myself and then looked over at her.God ,she is beautiful,I felt so bad,all I wanted was to get her out of the house so she could have some fun...
"So, I guess we better call Triple AAA," I said with a smile.Ok we need to call Triple AAA and get some help and that’s exactly what we did. I called it in and they told me it could take up to 60 minutes which is a long fucking time with no heat especially when its about 7 degrees out. I knew it wouldn’t be that long, well I hoped anyway..
“Its going to be at 45 minutes are you ok, are you cold?” I asked. “Nope, I’m good but I really have to pee.” she says with this unbelievable smile that absolutely makes me forget everything and anything that could possibly be wrong with the world. “Do you have a water bottle? She asks me and I just start laughing because just the thought of her pissing in a water bottle is insane.
“I’m …yeah I think so, somewhere in this car is a water bottle.” while I am talking she is actively looking for the water bottle and finds one. Then she ask if I have a knife, “ I don’t know I say as I am searching for something to cut the bottle in half. We finally found a screwdriver, which she tried to jab into the bottle to cut it half…
“Give me that before you hurt yourself,” I said as I took the bottle and screwdriver and cut in half. “Here you go, I said as I handed it to her and she climbed in the back seat to unload her bladder. I couldn’t stop laughing at the thought of her actually being able to get pee in that bottle without making a mess…”Ssshh, I can’t concentrate,” I am totally laughing to myself as I write this. Oh my god, I think I am going to overflow, wait I need to empty this, she said as she opened the back door to empty the bottle and finish.
I just kept laughing and thinking to myself, this the perfect woman for me.. Where has she been all my life, after she finished ,she crawled back up front and looked at me with this big smile and definite relief. “ You feel better", I said with a smile from ear to ear. “Yes, much better, it definitely won’t be boring, she said as I leaned over to kiss her. “You right, I have never had a woman complain about being bored when we were together.” I said as we started to make out and laughed at the same time.
It was getting pretty cold we had been waiting for at least 40 minutes at this point. Once we started making out it got really hot ,really fast.. I was so wet from kissing her and all I wanted was to feel how wet she was. Which she had no problem making sure I could feel her. I unbuckled her belt and undid her pants so I could slide my hand into her jeans.
GOD, she was so fucking wet, I played with her clit until I found her spot, her pleasure spot which definitely had become my pleasure spot. After a couple of seconds she pulled her pants down so I could have better access.
As we kissed and I used my index finger to activate that spot that drove her pleasure to the point where she needed to be to cum. I went back and forth and slid my fingers inside her so I could feel exactly where she was, so I could connect to her and be in a that place with her that makes me feel like we are one. The car windows were getting all fogged up from the heat between us and we were definitely not cold.
“Oh my god, I’m cumming,” she kept saying over and over ,these words have become my favorite words out of her mouth after, I love you.. Because I want nothing but for her to feel any and all pleasure and joy in ways she has never felt or imagined possible. Her ecstasy is mine. Her happiness is my happiness and as long as I feel exactly that when It comes to her I know its real.. For me anyway, within literally seconds of her cumming the blue lights came up in my mirror…” Shit ,ok, get dressed quick,” I said as the police headed towards my window. We both were laughing at this point as she rushed to get her pants up… Alrighty then,just as he flashed his light on me through my driver side window. She was where she needed to be…”I opened my door so could speak to the officer,” Hi officer, alternator went ,waiting on Triple AAA to come..” “Ok I am going to see if I can get someone out here quicker.” he said with a smile.


WOW, I get it, this is why I love to be with her in this amazing place not just because it feels really fucking good physically but because she is actually with me in that moment..
She can’t be anywhere else because if she was she wouldn’t be able to cum, huh, that’s enlightening….I’m so, I don’t know what I should feel now… another lesson, another reality learned from writing and expressing my truth without censorship.

I love to make love to her because that’s the only time I can be almost certain she is totally with me the way I am totally with her…That she isn’t thinking About whether the dog’s ate or have been taking out or her husband ate or what he is doing or thinking. What she needs to accomplish the next day or an hour from the time we are together. AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME SHE IS REALLY IN THE SAME MOMENT WITH ME…..
Now the question is, how do I feel about that….Is the fact that she is completely with me heart and soul with out limitations only when we are together physically is that enough….Am I fooling myself by thinking she feels for me the way I feel for her or is she just not ready to be in the same karmic space yet.
Is this why, when we are not together and she is home with her husband I can’t shake this uneasiness. That even though I know she loves me and I know she wants to be with me. She can’t and won’t be able to because the fog and fear that she has created within her heart and mind is so thick with everyone’s shit that even though her heart want’s to be with me her mind and the social conditioning she has come to intertwine herself with won’t allow it.
Am I so blinded by my love and desire for her that I am not seeing the truth and is her truth really truth. Or has she created it so that she can keep her sanity. Am I a sweet distraction or am I real? If I am real… What reality am I? Am I wrong for feeling like she isn’t being honest with herself or me because even though she tells me she only wants me, she is still sleeping with him. Am I being petty or insecure because even though they are not having sex, the fact that she crawls into the same bed with him and shares an intimacy I desire but don’t have the option to have..am I wrong for feeling insecure or cheated?
It’s amazing how the mind and the heart can confuse the moment. How we can allow others to keep us from true joy but it’s our own doing. I am in my true moment of reality of pure love and my truth when she is with me. But is it real or am I just hoping it is. Have I once again created the illusion that love is the ultimate purpose in our lives , maybe my truth is wrong and her truth is the way things are meant to be done..Sacrificing your happiness and joy for others..Creating scenarios that could possibly cause you to lose the one true chance at true happiness..
Her truth being , she would rather create or try to create a safety net to some how protect the people in her life from the fact that she has found a place that brings her happiness,a place that she can be herself and no matter what she will be loved the same, a place with someone who sees her and loves her unconditionally. Why is it her job to protect them..When they haven’t done anything to protect her for a long time. Is it worth giving up precious moments that you will not get back ,not with each other anyway. When is it time to say I have had enough and I want to be happy. Am I a hypocrite because I tell any one and everyone I meet to appreciate and embrace every loving moment and memory they can get. Yet I wait alone hoping that she will show up at my door unannounced to tell me that we are more important then everything else, our joy and happiness is what she wants to embrace. She is not afraid and now is now and she wants Now with me…True Love is Worth waiting for even if it's a challenge...Especially if you have been waiting a Life Time...So I wait and know she will be here soon....